Reconnected with the World

For the last two weeks, I've struggled along with one hearing aid while the other one was getting fixed.  And not very successfully - I had a hard time even with one-to-one conversations in a quiet room. Sometimes I needed 4-5 repetitions to understand, and by that time the whole communication interaction was ruined.  After awhile, I stopped asking and found myself more and more disengaged from conversation.  I was also emotionally and mentally exhausted from the effort of listening.  At one difficult meeting at work, I found myself circling the table so I could stand immediately across from whomever was talking.

Today I picked up my repaired hearing aid and immediately felt reconnected with the world - I could hear small background noises, bits of passing conversation, and the sound of birds and leaves rustling in the wind.  I thought back to when I was in 2nd grade and wore glasses for the first time - I could see leaves on the trees!  Frankly, I was surprised that I could hear so much more wearing the second aid- twice what I could hear before - even though both ears are bad and amplification is far from perfect.

I am so grateful to my very patient Kaiser audiology folks - Leslie Hojem, my audiologist for at least the last 10 years who is always there for me, and to Mary, the scheduler, who will always try to fit me in, and to Terri, the audiologist who will see me when Leslie can't.  I could not function without their combined support.  Thank you!

When things fall apart

Yesterday was a terrible day. I found out our car needs $400 of work due to a leaking air conditioner. And then my hearing aid just stopped working. I first became irritable with my coworkers, giving short, barking answers to innocent questions. Then, I went into a brain fog and couldn't concentrate. I called my husband Tom who came to get me in his pick up truck. Once home, I went to sleep for a few hours and then woke up and rallied for the evening. I found an old hearing aid that I could use as a back up, and entered the world again feeling both sheepish and revived. Today I functioned pretty well with the back up aid. My coworkers were understanding and forgiving.

So what is my lesson from all of this? Sometimes things fall apart, and when they do, sometimes taking a time out is the best strategy. Trying to hear without a hearing aid is frustrating and exhausting. It is not much better for my communication partners.

The car is still in the shop and my hearing aid is still broken, but both are going to be fixable or, if necessary, replaceable. When I explained my plight to a coworker, he said he understood - he had a back-up leg. I laughed and he said "no really", meaning that he really does have a prosthetic leg and a back up. Once again, I felt sheepish but appreciative. We all make do the best we can, and having a back up can make a huge difference.

Feedback

Perhaps it is the new hearing aids I bought in January or maybe too much rain, but as I was walking home from the bus yesterday I landed on this idea for a blog. My new hearing aids are called Epoq, made by Oticon and I also bought a gadget called a Streamer. With the streamer, my hearing aids function as headphones for my cell phone. When the technology works it is great. And I am learning more about how to use this equipment every day. But right now the rain is a problem and I live in Portland OR where rain has been constant. I put my jacket hood up when it rains, and with my old aids that was no problem. These aides give me feedback (loud squealing) with the hood up. Sometimes I can coax the feedback to go away, but not always. I am not excited about having to keep track of an umbrella!

I have had hearing aids since I was in law school in my late 20's, but didn't start wearing them consistently until my hearing got worse a few years later. I'm on my fourth or fifth pair now. I have seen my audiologist for so long her children have grown from preschoolers to driving. I have a mixed type of hearing loss - mostly sensory-neural but with a topdressing of otosclerosis. I had a stapedectomy about 18 years ago, and a clean up a couple of years ago. My hearing has gotten worse recently, so much so that when I take my hearing aids out I am in a very quiet place, a place where I don't hear much of anything. That's not to say quiet is a bad thing - I like quiet, and prefer it to noise. But after my last hearing test, my husband and I both asked the same question - should we be learning sign language?